I’ve been holding you. 

Your loneliness is a pit in my stomach; every disappointment a pounding pulse behind my eyes.

I’ve been holding you.

Every look of hurt, every jab, is another vertebrae that twists in my spine.

I’ve been holding you, as my body grows brittle and breaks apart, because I thought I saw the future. In that future, we were all alone, each of us drowning in our isolated hurt.

But this was never the future. Only my fear.

I’ve been holding you so tightly I’ve been crushing both our lungs.

I thought I was fighting for you, but I was fighting you. 

So, my love, this is to tell you.

I finally understand.

I’m lowering you, gently and lovingly, until your feet can touch the ground that’s rippling like water as it rises to meet you.

Because I trust you.

I trust you to be happy, to find peace in the loneliness, to love amidst the hurt. 

I know now that I cannot save you from the chaos.

But I can let you go.

Because I love you.

And I trust that you are learning to love yourself.

Thanks to Candace McDaniel for the beautiful photo!